Have no mercy on Xbox Live gamers across the globe as you chug Mountain Dew Game Fuel and lay down pure pwnage in Halo 3. Hear noobs swear cries of defeat in a handful of different languages. That’s the theme of the commercial I just caught between scenes of a Star Trek: Voyager rerun on Spike TV. I wonder, what is Jeri Ryan up to lately? I suppose though the bigger question is just what’s so special about the latest carbonated concoction from Mt. Dew?

MDGF (look at me, I coined an acronym!) claims to be “Dew with an invigorating blast of citrus cherry flavor with other natural flavors” (dirt maybe?). I actually first caught sight of this new promotion while picking up some classic Dew at 7-11, which I like to call Work Fuel. Curious at the time, I didn’t want to get sucked into the marketing ploy right away, however the next day I saw a 12 pack for $2.50 while at Wal-Mart so I thought wtf, I’ll give it a try.

So how does it taste!? Well my enthusiasm was short lived and the MDGF is still sitting in my car, but I’ve decided to scour the web for some other opinions. Here’s what I found…

One blogger comments on the color of the drink, unsure why it’s red, and says the color doesn’t match the Halo theme. He goes on to say, “[maybe] under that helmet Master Chief is a refreshing rouge color.” My thought is maybe you’re wreaking so much havoc in Halo 3 pwning some noobs that you want to taste their blood. Well he finally takes a few sips and states, “It’s Mountain Dew with a sort of… grapefruit flavor? I don’t know. It’s pretty vile.” Well how did you think noob blood would taste?

Moving on to some hopefully more intelligent reviews I came across a writer who was smart enough to have his girlfriend perform the test, I guess for an unbiased ruling. After taking a swig she replies, “Is this a prank?!”

For my final third-party review I relied on the boys over at IGN. They had the luxury (or misfortune) of having free samples sent to their offices. They took their taste test outdoors, I guess in case vomiting occurred, and cracked open a can. They first comment on the orange color of the drink, while the first article claims a reddish color. Whatever the case, IGN palates deliver their final verdict, “It tastes a bit like somebody put cherry cough syrup in Mountain Dew. Our gaming skills appear unchanged.”

Well there you have it, tastes like crap. However, don’t let a bunch of half-wits on the internet influence your decisions, try it for yourself. This limited edition promotion from Mountain Dew is available for a few months, so that should give you ample time to muster up the courage to perform your own taste test. Also check out the Mountain Dew Game Fuel website for some nice Halo wallpapers and a chance to win a voiceover part in Halo Wars, and some other cool prizes. Look for Halo 3 in stores on September 25, 2007.